Teen Mom: My Story

I have never seen the show "Teen Mom" nor do I ever plan to. I think that I would have found it entertaining if I had not been in that exact situation. Now, I think I would just find it insulting and very inaccurate. It seems that people today only want to focus on the outbreak of teenage pregnancies and not on the success stories many of these girls have. My story starts at the age of 16. I grew up in a Christian home with wonderful values. My parents were always very supportive and brought me up to be respectful, obedient, kind, loving, and above all - Christianly. I went to church every week and took part in many youth group activities. Here's were my first problem starts with today's society. We assume today that young girls who get pregnant have no values and must have grown up in a bad household where casual sex is accepted. This is certainly not the case. Everyone is susceptible to temptation and mistakes. I live in a small town where everyone knows everybody. Sometimes this is a good thing and sometimes it's bad. All my life I had a reputation as the "good girl". I didn't smoke, didn't party, I went to church, and I always respected my elders. My mother always taught me to be mannerly and kindhearted. I wasn't perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but I was a good kid. I began dating someone when I had just turned 14. I won't get into all the details on that, but things were not well between us. There's a lot that happened that I never want to mention. To make a long story short, he was not a good person. I knew that he was into drugs, but thought that it wouldn't matter because I could be his saving grace. I cared about him and gave my whole life over to him. He was my first serious boyfriend. Being that young and that naive, I thought that that's what love was. We dated for 2 years. I had always stood firm in my belief of abstinence. I was saving myself for my husband and was completely dedicated to that. He was not of that mindset and let me know many, many times. I can even remember a phone conversation when I put my foot firmly down and told him it wouldn't happen. He then told me that he would never hug me again because he couldn't stand to do that and not have the rest. I was upset that he would give me such an ultimatum. However, I continued to see him. He tried many times to convince me that it was okay and for 2 years I stood my ground. When he finally left for college, things changed. Long story short, I gave in. It certainly wasn't something I wanted to do. I was ashamed, but I wanted to keep him in my life so much that I was willing to do almost anything. Almost immediately I noticed changes happening. I was gaining weight. I was moody and depressed. I ate a lot. I could NOT accept the fact that I could be pregnant. So I told myself I wasn't and continued with my life like I wasn't.

Fast forward to Thanksgiving, later that year. I know by now that I am pregnant. I'm almost sure of it. When I tell him that evening, it's over between us. He's mad at me and calls me a liar. He drops me off on the side of the road to walk back in to my grandmother's house where my family was celebrating. I cried a lot. I didn't want to admit it then, but that was the best thing that could have happened to me. I had to tell my mother. This would be the hardest part. I'll never forget those few moments when she looked at me before I told her. I was so nervous. Would she kick me out? Would she demand I give my baby up for adoption? Would she hate me? Will she ever be able to look at me again? She saves me the trouble by asking me if I'm pregnant. I nod my head and mumble "yes". She calmly told me to meet her upstairs in the doctor's office. Nothing can describe the relief I felt in that moment. She didn't hate me. It was out in the open. No more secrets. A lot happened between that time and my birth. By then things were better and I had been able to continue going to school. I was made fun of though. I was looked upon like I was a horrible person. No longer was I the "good girl". I was the girl that got pregnant. What a scandal! The rumors, the stares, the whispers. I will never forget that as long as I live. People talked about me that didn't even know me. I was the butt of everyone's joke. I had to waddle down the high school corridors to my classes. My small church family who had supported me threw me a shower. My friends threw me a shower. I had 3 total. I was so incredibly blessed to have that much support. The snide comments almost paled in comparison to the wealth of love I received from my close friends and family. The price was steep, though. I lost all my old friends. I missed out on a lot of things. People nowadays think that pregnant teens just had nothing better to do and no common sense to avoid their situation. I beg to differ. Did I want to miss out on all that high school and teenage years have to offer? No.

The teenage mom stereotype is so wrong. We are not all sluts who run around offering ourselves to everyone that comes along. We are not all valueless girls who have babies because we're bored. Many of us work hard. We bear through the guilt and the judgements. We make a good life for our babies and strive to do what is best by them. I am now 23 years old. I worked for years in nonprofit before we were financially stable enough for me to stay at home. I am married to a wonderful man and we have a son who is 2. I own my home and I am not on welfare (I'm not bashing anyone who does if they really need it. But I don't agree with people who do, just because they're too lazy to work). I vote and obey the law. I may not have gone to college, but I had a career and now am a stay at home mom and Girl Scout leader. I'm not saying I haven't made mistakes since my daughter's birth. I've had some huge lapses in judgement and done many things I'm not proud of. But I'm a good person. A good mother. A good wife. I love God and I take my children to church. Please, America. Take another look at the young mothers of today. We are strong! I am proud of my status as a young mother. I can chase my kids around the house and have energy to spare. I didn't plan for this, but I am enjoying every minute of it. I had a dream of a career much different than the one I had. Giving it up was one of the easiest things I've done. My daughter meant more to me than that. Do I still crave it? Yes. Would I change anything if I could go back? Absolutely not. I am proud of teenage moms who have the guts and courage to do something with their life and take care of their babies. Forget the reality shows and look closely at the girls around you who give everything they have to be a single mother.

Former Teenage Mom, signing off.